Last week I lost something very dear to me. I could always rely on him to provide warmth and time to let me think. It was his luxurious scent that put me to ease. He was there for me since as far as I can remember, any time I had to relax, think , put my mind to rest or even just for a good clean, I could always count on my him. Although he got cold on me after a while, it wouldn't take much to warm him up again.
Home just doesn't feel the same any more, I go into my bathroom and fall to the ground in tears. Now I'm left standing in despair when all I want is a bath, I'm left with a bloody shower. Yes, you see, my loyal companion of nearly 23 years is gone. Thrown at the side of my garden ready for the skip. I didn't even get to say goodbye. Although I had a last bath, I didn't know that was going to be the last. If I had of known that I would of prepared myself, I would of got bath salts and candles. I would of made it special.
I'm totally distraught, as you can imagine. Not only have I lost something very close to me but now I have to face a poor substitute to cleanse my mind. The days of relaxing, putting my feet up, are long gone. To the bath I cherished from the bottom of my heart, I miss you and no shower will ever come close to the times we shared.
Ever wonder why your 'pooh pooh' looks different sometimes, if something is a bit odd or your just not feeling right. Well if you look at the Bristol Stool Chart, you may find out your a Type 6 'pooh pooh'. This indicates your suffering from diarrhoea and you may want to start taking more fluids and supplements to ease the it.
First two types indicate constipation, type 3 & 4 are the desired 'poohs poohs' and the next three usually tell us your suffering from diarrhoea (the last one telling us the diarrhoea may be cost by food poisoning or infection). So next time your weary about what you left in the toilet pot, just run to this post and you'll have a quick diagnosis.
Since I was born I was always some form of a collector. My mother use to go into McDonald's and buy two set of toys, for me and my elder brother. I even remember having some of the ones below in my collection. It even came to the point that we got the boxes that you get with the Happy Meals and extra toy kept in it's packaging, so that we could sell them in years to come. Toys such as the ones below, became the first of the many things I collected.
The McDonald's toys were a continuous collection until my secondary school years. During this time I collected other things such as magazines. The first of the magazines I collected was one based on 'The Little Mermaid'. I looked everywhere for an archive but can't get one, it was very educational and you had the likes of Ariel to make it that much funnier. To be honest, this (and my fascination with flowers) were one of the first things for my mother to think, "Maybe my son is going to be gay!" After I got bored of that I began to collect Disney's Big Time and finally Gamesmaster. I think the latter was to try and hide my obsession with my sister's Barbies.
In the playground I loved pogs.
(Down below are some that I still have stored in my room)
I also collected Premier League stickers. Now this was just to fit in with the fact that I never played football really well at P.E. So being the young and naive kid that I was, I thought that this sticker collection thing would help me out among the kids. To some degree it did.
When Pokemon became a massive thing, of course I had to get involved, I wasn't going to be the kid that wasn't into Pokemon. It was such a big thing, look at the kid below and how crazzzzy he goes when he gets a card he needs..........I was never that crazy, I swear.
One of the proudest things I collected was stickers along with my sister, she bought them and I put them in her sticker book. Still to this day, I look at them with admiration.
(Below are some samples from her books. Wasn't I just so creative.)
The last major thing I collected was bar mats, this was during I'm becoming a teenager phase. At one point it became an addiction, I would go to every pub in a town or village, just to see if they had anything different.
(In the picture below, is some of the many I have stored in a bag in my room.)
So now that I'm an adult I wish to collect something new and refreshing. I'm a big fan of 'The Bone Collector', so maybe..............
His name is Fernando Fernandes and if I ever question my sexual preference (which is very unlikely), all I have to is look at the below picture and snap right out of it.
However, if I have really bad day of doubt (which I never do) and the above picture can't help, I'll stare at the next picture. I don't think I'd even have to time it, I know I would be instantly in gay whatever land. HOT with capital letters is not even the way to phrase him, I'm lost with words, a hard task to throw at me and lose.
He is why men are greater than women.......................................fact!
Last May when I first heard of Lady Gaga I thought she was amazing, the best thing since sliced butter. As the hits grew around the globe I continued to hymn the tunes.
But then came the outrageous outfits, ridiculous statements during concerts and a sense that everything is just one big act. In regard to this act I'm referring to, all the 'fakeness' that surrounded everything she was doing. It just felt like so much to soon. In 9 months it was constant, and she had already being giving the new reigning princess of pop title by my major hate 'Perez Hilton'. I think it's Perez's love for Gaga that really turned the tide, to be honest. He just has her on such a pedestal and it kills me, like I'm talking 'pass me the fucking robe' killing me. Everything was just amazing, not one criticism. Better than anything else in the whole wide world, not one flaw! This talk just pulled the robe tighter.
'Bad Romance' came along and I was like at last something not that great. But still annoyingly annoying Perez was blazing her halo a light. I'm close to pushing the chair at this stage.
Then this occured;
It left me hanging, I was gutted. Not because it was terrible and predictable but because it was amazing. I actually had to watch it again and again and again. I even began to love (not like but love) the song.
The reason this is killing me (and I mean physical pain here) is that Perez is right to have her on such a pedestal. Music and I centre on pop music when I speak, needs her. Without her it would be quite boring, nothing to it, same old stuff continued to been thrown at us. She is giving the whole package from the single's cover to her over the top performances. Nothing is lack'n'lazy with her, everything is to the full. People may say but she once had brown hair, it's all an act! But so fucking what, what she is doing is nothing short of allowing her creativity to run wild. She's making bold statements, causing controversy, giving her everything and still providing an A+ product in the consumer's hands and mind.
This post was actually difficult for me to write and you may laugh, but writing this means I've giving in to a lot of opinions that I wouldn't accept. Still in denial, I wont say things I may later regret......
.......I just hope Britney gives me something new and refreshing that will make me continue to be her loyal loving husband.
(I listened to Britney throughout writing this post just to hold on to some faith)
R.I.P (1985-2009)
